3 Practices to Experience Nonduality

In this post I will attempt to describe what is ultimately indescribable, but more importantly, I will give suggested practices and meditations to help in the actual experience of this unnamed indescribable_______ (I’ll refrain from naming it here).

(To read about my journey from Christianity to the path of nonduality, click here.)

What is nonduality?

Nonduality is not so much something to be explained as it is something to be experienced. The Tao Te Ching says,

“The Tao that can be named is not the eternal Tao.”

Lao Tzu

In fact to name or explain nonduality is itself an act of duality. Words inherently perform the act of separation. That is what words are, they are separators. Scalpels, slicing and dicing reality into bites that we can digest, distinguish, and call this and that. And although we confuse words with reality, words are not the reality. Reality is nondual. Inseparable. But, what is reality if it’s not to be named?

Reality is… Reality is… Yes, that’s it. A perfect description. Dot, dot, dot.

Nonduality is prior to words. It includes words, no doubt, as space includes the earth, sun, moon, stars, and galaxies. But it cannot be contained by words. Even the word “nonduality” itself is just a word contained in the reality beyond description. There have been many words given to it. Some call it the Tao, others Buddha Nature, the Self, the universe, pure consciousness, primal energy, source, and even god, etc. But again, it is just… And, that gets to the point of it.

So, Lao Tzu says, “The Tao that can be named is not the eternal Tao,” and, yet, he goes on to write a book about the Tao in an attempt to put it into words as best he can. That is all that we can do for the most part. We can try to explain the unexplainable, try to help the experience along, but we must use words in most scenarios to do so. So, let me use words for a moment.

Existence Is

When I attempt to explain the nondual nature of reality, or “what is”, I use a lot of analogies, and I’m quite fond of the word “existence”. Existence is. It is all that there is. The separation that we seem to experience on a day to day basis is an illusion superimposed upon this inseparable, nondual existence. To think of ourselves, which most of us do, as a separate entity, placed into this world or in this life, too, is an illusion. The ego doesn’t exist as a separate entity.

The Ocean of Being

Existence is like the ocean. The illusion of separate things are like waves of the ocean. I live on an island. I surf. I have a passionate love for the ocean. I see the sea every single day. When I walk out onto the rock jetties, I admire the view and the waves that roll in one after another.

Am I witnessing separate things in this view? Am I on the one hand seeing the ocean, and on the other hand seeing waves? This question and idea can be stretched across every area of existence. When I look at a tree, am I looking at a tree on the one hand, and on the other hand looking at branches and leaves? In both of these cases there is only the ocean and a tree. Waves aren’t separate entities from the ocean. The waves are the ocean waving. The waves are what the ocean does. The energy of the ocean is producing the crests and troughs that we’ve perceived to be and have named “waves”. But, the reality is that there is only the ocean. The branches and leaves are not separate from the tree. They are the tree. These words and programmed perception are the creation of separate entities out of one process of being.

Just so, there is the ocean of being. And, just as the ocean of water waves, the ocean of being waves in forms of you and me, trees, birds, clouds, planets, buildings, suns, stars, galaxies, humans, animals, rocks, cars, and every other “thing” that we can possibly think of. All waves of the ocean of being. And, just as the waves of water are not separate from the ocean, and are in fact, the ocean itself, so, too are all of the waves previously mentioned and unmentioned the ocean of being itself. Existence. The Tao. Brahman. Consciousness. Energy. Source. The Universe. The Self. And, yes, “God” (although I do prefer to leave that particular word behind for various reasons perhaps to be explained in another post).

This gives us at least some small idea of the concept I am trying to name that cannot be named.

But, let us not attempt to name it now. Let us simply, yet profoundly, experience it.

How shall we do this? The following suggestions can be a stream of progression, one practice leading into the next. Meditation is a way of life. Life in the following suggestions is a meditative life.

Practice 1: Who Am I

Self-realization is the process or the immediate understanding of who you are. Not the ego, not the role, not the mask you wear, but the REAL you. The fundamental reality underneath or beyond it all. Getting down to that is what “self-inquiry” is all about.

The most important question you can ask yourself is, “Who am I?” Who is this “I” that I refer to? Who is this “I” that everyone actually refers to?

In the Greek theater the actors wore a mask that was called in Greek a “persona”. The mask of course portrayed and projected the character to the audience. This persona/mask also had a sort of megaphone mouth protruding from it that amplified the actor’s voice throughout the theater.

It’s interesting that this word “persona” is used today as a reference to the public image or personality that a person presents or portrays to the world around them. Persona is a mask; persona is personality; persona is ego; persona is image; persona is imagination/illusion. Your mask is your character, your personality. The person you believe you are, the person you identify yourself to be, is merely a mask. It’s an illusion. A created and assumed role. A programming in a sense.

Self-inquiry begins when we start to understand this, and suddenly it dawns on us to ask the question, “But, if my ego, my identity as this separate person in a world of other separate people and things, is a mask, and illusion, then who or what is wearing this mask?! And, if it’s a mask, who am I when I take this mask off?!”

Let’s practice. Try this:

Take a few breaths to relax. Breath in slowly, starting with an expanding of your belly and let it move into your chest as your chest begins to expand following your belly. Just breathe.

“Who am I?”

Now, ask yourself the question, “Who am I?” As you breathe in, “Who am I?” With each breath ask yourself the question. Do this for as many breaths as you want. I suggest at least a minimum of 10 breaths asking the question.

Now, it’s time to take off the mask and experience the answer. As you continue to breathe deep, relaxing breaths, reach up to your face, and go through the motions of taking off an invisible mask. Just play it out. As you exhale, breathe out letting go of the breath, letting go of your thoughts, taking off your name, your role, your job, your identities, your worries, your anxieties, your fears, your relations, your responsibilities, all of it. Don’t worry, you can pick the mask back up, and will, as soon as we’re done. For now, just take it off, and lay it aside.

Let it go.

Now, breathe as the ocean breathes. Not as a person. Not as you did when you wore a mask. Right now, your breath is exhaled as the waves are rolling onto the sandy beach. Your breath is inhaled as the waves flatten out and recede back from the beach and back into the depths of the ocean. Breathe as the rain. Inhale as the sky drawing water up into itself gathering up into beautiful, cool clouds. Exhale as the rain falling from the sky back to the earth onto the plants, the trees, the flowers, the mountains, and the valleys.

Breathe as the coming and going of all things, in and out, in and out.

Who are you in this moment? Who are you? Who are you apart from it all? Who are you without your mask? Who are you when you stop identifying with your persona? When the ego dissolves, who or what is left? “Who am I?” “Who am I?”

“I am”

“I am.” “I am.” “I am.” Now, don’t say this. Don’t think it. Feel it. Experience it. Be. Just be.

You are this. You are, period. You are existence itself. The ocean of being itself. Waves and all. This is the real YOU. You…are…existence. You are what was a few minutes ago, and what is always behind the mask. You are inseparable, indistinguishable, unaffected, blissful existence itself. All of it. The whole. This is you. The real You.

Just rest here in this peaceful experience of bliss as long as you want, and when you’re ready…

The mask is still lying there…

Now, the mask is lying next to you. Before you put it back on, be aware that it is lying next to you. The mask and ALL that it contains. The anxieties, fears, worries, but also all of the positive qualities that we participate in as we play the character of this particular mask/ego.

Before you pick it up, remain aware of the real you. You don’t have to forget who you really are ever again. You can consciously wear this particular mask and play this particular role in the awareness of yourself as existence. You can be aware at all times of the performance at hand. You can do this as the real you. The real you behind all masks.

Now, go through the motions of putting back on your mask, your ego. But this time, it’s going to be different. Things that you took so incredibly serious before, you’ll see for what they are, parts of the play. Worries, anxieties, fears, all of the things causing you suffering and pain…you see them now as parts of the play of the ego. And, now, you have seen through it all. You’ve seen the cosmic joke!

And, yes, it’s ok now to laugh and laugh and laugh!

As you once again, but with awareness wear your particular mask, don’t be afraid to be sincere, but there’s never any reason to be serious. You aren’t this mask. You are existence itself. The one who wears the mask; as a matter of fact, you are the one who wears all masks!

Practice 2: The Witness

You know who you really are. Deep down, you are aware of yourself as nondual existence. This next short practice follows the previous, and it is one that I call The Witness. It’s a practice that you can eventually do anytime, anywhere, no matter what is going on at the moment.

For this practice you’re going to watch what has happened.

The character, the ego, the mask has been “doing things” all day, or the previous day. You, as this character, have been engaging in activities and conversations with or without your awareness. You’ve been thinking, speaking, and moving all along.

Now, don’t take this analogy too literally or seriously, but I want you to take a few minutes to witness some of these things that have happened, not as your mask, but as an audience member. Replay a particular conversation or event in your mind as though you are simply watching someone else do, think, or say the things from this replay.

Just witness. Without any judgement. Without thinking, “I should have said this, or done that…” Just watch it, detached from it, and let it play. It is what it is; you can’t change it, so just watch. Watch your own mind in that moment. What thoughts were going through your head while this was taking place? When you had this particular conversation, or while you were doing this particular thing?

Just watch it as a detached witness, and let it play out. Don’t identify with the character or ego that you’re watching. Just watch, unidentified, unattached. Notice as the witness that it happened all on its own. The character had all kinds of thoughts, spoke all kinds of words, and performed all kinds of actions. And, you, in this moment as the witness, cannot change it. Besides it already having taken place, you’re just watching it, and as the witness you aren’t attempting to change anything. There’s no reason to change it. It happened, it is what it is, and it played out as it only could. As the witness, you change nothing. Just watch it play.

Past to Nearer Past to Present

As you practice being the witness of things that have happened throughout the day, you can now begin to witness the nearer past. Perhaps you have a conversation and immediately begin to witness it as it ends; not to judge it or turn it into something other than what it is. You just witness it as if it were happening now. In fact, it IS happening now, in your mind, in this present moment.

As you begin to witness things nearer and nearer to the present moment, at some point you will now begin to witness the present in exactly the same way. Just watch, as the witness, as the character thinks thoughts, has conversations with other characters, performs actions. Just watch. Let it play. Watch it happen. Then, you’re ready for the next practice, Letting Go.

Practice 3: Letting Go

I suggested to not take the previous “witness”/”audience member” analogy too seriously. Because, the reality is, there is no witness.

You may be thinking, “I just experienced being the witness, what do you mean there’s no witness?!” The witness you became implies something separate from what is being witnessed. Remember, separation is an illusion. We also believe that we are “thinkers” of our “thoughts”. This too implies a separation between thinker and thought that is merely an illusion. Thinker and thought are one. Witness and witnessed are one.

What do I mean? The thinker/thought, the witness/witnessed, both are the energy of nondual reality. Existence itself. Your thoughts aren’t separate entities with realities of their own, just as the ego isn’t a separate entity with a reality of its own. Thinking is existence. Thoughts are waves. Inseparable from the ocean. In fact, they, too, are the ocean itself.

All of it, it’s all nondual existence. Nothing is separate. In terms of time (which is relative but helpful in explanation), existence/nondual reality is an interrelated, inseparable, organic process, like a swirl of colors. Nothing with defined edges or borders. One organic process.

This process includes what you experienced as the witness. This process includes what you believe to be the “thinker of thoughts”. This process includes the beating of your heart. It includes the birth of stars, the expanding of space. Everything that you can think of is the organic process of nondual reality, existence itself. You, and every”thing” about you, are this existence, this process. Inseparable.

The Practice of All Practices

Having understood this, it is time to practice the ultimate practice.

It boils down simply to this: You are existence itself, the ocean of being, nondual reality, the organic process of what is; now, trust yourself as existence.

Trust yourself as existence itself. Trust yourself to your own process (of course you now know that “your” means the real you). This is the way of letting go. Letting go of the illusion of separation, letting go of the illusion of egoic control, letting go of the illusion of egoic will, letting go of the illusion of doing…

Trusting yourself as existence itself is very similar to some of the things you already do that you may not realize. You trust your heart to beat. You don’t have to tell your heart to pump blood throughout your body in order to survive. Beating happens. You trust your lungs to breathe. It isn’t an act of volition to get your lungs to breathe. Breathing happens. In exactly the same way, you don’t have to make the sun provide warmth and light. Warming and lighting happen.

Let go of Thinking

If I told you to let go of beating your heart, it wouldn’t make much sense. You already know that you simply trust your heart to do what it does. It’s natural. What is there to let go of? However, I’m going to now tell you to let go of “thinking”. You aren’t the thinker of thoughts. Thoughts happen, just as heart beating happens! Trust your brain to do what it does, just as you trust your heart to do what it does. Your brain is the process just as your heart is, just as the sun is. Thinking is nature (the real you) doing what nature does. Beating is nature doing what nature does. Shining, warming are nature doing what nature does. Existence doing what existence does. Natural. Let go of “speaking”; let go of “doing”.

Let go. Of EVERYTHING. Trust yourself as existence in every way possible. In doing this, watch as your anxiety dissolves. When you fully trust and know yourself as existence itself, then you recognize everything, literally every detail, as the organic process of existence, perfectly doing what existence does. Let your brain think. Let your mouth speak. Let your heart beat. Trust it. Trust yourself.

In every situation, no matter where you find yourself, whatever may be happening, just look around, without words, without description… It’s all happening. It’s all the process.

You may ask, “Should we not try to change anything?” I’m sure you see by now that this question, along with the desire to change things, and the actual “changing” of things (which is also surely clear to you now to be an illusion), all of these are the process of nature, of primal energy, of nondual existence. You cannot get outside of the process! There is no “you” to get outside of it. There is even no “outside of it”! This is the process. You are the process.

What is the point of worry? What is the point of fear? What is the point of anxiety? What is the point of stress? The cause of all of these is belief in the illusion of separation and control.

Let it all go. Just watch. Just flow. Just be. Thoughts will happen, words will happen, heartbeats will happen, breathing will happen, conversations will happen, sunshine will happen, stars coming and going will happen…without your forcing it. And, yes, sometimes worry and fear will happen; but, this too you will suddenly recognize as the process.

This is where bliss becomes the brightest. This is where is the peace that surpasses understanding. This is the nondual experience. This is what many call enlightenment or awakening. This is true self-realization.

(Click here for a follow up post titled Going Deeper into Nonduality.)

Use Words to Tell Me About the Wordless

I want to hear from you! Please let me know what questions you have, and let me know how all of this goes with you. I’d love to hear your experience with what I’ve just shared!